All your Death Stars are belong to us

Most leading linguistic experts agree that the best way to gauge your progress in a new language is by watching Star Wars.

Okay, I just made that up, but several people have been asking me how my German is going, and I'm not sure how to measure that sort of thing. (I'm sure they just want a polite, "Fine, thanks" but that's not the point.) I just finished my fourth month of German, which makes me eligible for some sort of Basic German Certificate. Another eight months of study and I can apply for the I'm a German Speaker Certificate (actual name may vary).

They mark on a scale of 1 to 5 here, 1 being the best and 5 being failure. I had 1's across the board, in vocabulary, grammar, conversation, and writing. Twenty-eight-years old and I get my first perfect report card. Go figure.

Anyway, to help you understand how far I've come (and so you can laugh at how far I have to go), here are some key scenes from Star Wars Episode IV: A New Nope (Eine Neue Hoffnung). I watched them on my DVDs in German and translated them as best I could into English, as if I didn't know what the real lines were. (I also ignored context. Even if I didn't know Star Wars at all, I'd be able to figure out that Darth Vader didn't say "I am the leader of the screen," but I translated it that way to show where my comprehension level is.

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

The opening title card and crawl:

It was once a long time ago in a far, far distant galaxy . . .

It [something] war. The rebellion, spaceship from a secret place, has the first [something] against the evil galactic Empire. During [something] the rebellion’s spies, secret plans about the absolute [something] that the Empire owns, the Death Star, a space station, with firepower to destroy a whole planet. Followed by Imperial agents, Princess Leia on board her starship in her homeland, [something] plans. The people and freedom in the galaxy could . . .


Leia’s message:
General Kenobi, a long time ago you served my father in the Clone Wars. Now he wants your help in the fight against the Empire. I’d like you to [something] my father’s prayers. In fact my space ship has been [something] and unfortunately is my [something] to bring [something] to Alderaan [something]. I have information, from which the [something] the Rebellion hangs in the [something] of this R2 [something]. My father can [something]. I lay it with you, that this droid [something] to Alderaan [something]. This is our [something] hour. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You are my last hope.


Greedo vs. Han:

Greedo: Where do you want to go then, Solo?
Han: Yes, Greedo. You had to [something], but I wanted directly to my boss.
Say Jabba, that I have his money.
Greedo: Too late! You should have paid when you had the chance. Jabba has a price on your head. Every money-seeking head hunter in the galaxy is now behind you. I’m lucky that I was the first person to find you.
Han: Yes, but this time I really have the money.
Greedo: Give it to me and maybe I’ll forget that I found you.
Han: Of course I don't have it here. Say Jabba . . .
Greedo: Jabba is finished with you! He has nothing for a smuggler who normally [something] first sign given by an Imperial cruiser.
Han: My ship itself gets entered. Do you believe I had a choice?
Greedo: You can explain that to Jabba. Maybe he’ll only take your ship.
Han: Only over my [something].
Greedo: Exactly! I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time!
Han: I can imagine that.

[Unfortunately, even in German, Greedo shoots first]



Darth vs. Obi-Wan

Darth: I have expected you, Obi-Wan. Finally we once again [something]. The crisis is closed. When I left you, I was the student. Now I am the master.
Ben: Only evil’s master, Darth.
Darth: You have [something], old man.
Ben: You cannot win, Darth, If you hit me, I will become stronger than you can imagine.
Darth: You should have not come.


Luke destroys the Death Star

Luke: Biggs, Wedge. We’re bringing this to an end. We’re going with full strength. That has to stop the fighters from our necks.
Wedge: It’s right, boss.
Biggs: Luke, if you come at that tempo, can you still go at the right time?
Luke: If nothing is continued. A child’s game!
Biggs: We’re stopping enough to give you the ceiling.
Wedge: My equipment shows the tower, but I don’t see the ventilation opening. Can the computer find it?
Luke: Take care of yourselves. Go to full power.
Wedge: What is with the tower?
Luke: You worry about the fighters. I will worry about the tower. R2, the stabilizer is lost. See if you can fix it.
Biggs: Fighters coming from .3.
Wedge: I’m hit. I must [something].
Luke: Leave, Wedge. You use nothing back anymore.
Wedge: Sorry.
Vader: Leave him. We stay on the leader.
Biggs: Fast, Luke. They’re coming much faster this time.
Luke: R2, collect yet more juice!
Biggs: Hurry, look! Fast! Fast!
[Biggs is killed]
Death Star Voice: Rebel base in 30 seconds.
Darth: I am the leader of the screen.
C-3PO: Pull through, R2.
Ben’s voice: Trust the Force, Luke. Give yourself to the Force, Luke.
Darth: The force is [something] with this there.
Ben’s voice: Luke, trust me.
Rebel voice: His computer is turned off. Luke, you’ve turned off your targeting computer. What’s wrong?
Luke: Nothing. Everything is okay. [R2 is hit] R2 is hit!
Rebel voice: The death star has encircled the planet. The death star has encircled the planet.
Death Star Voice: Rebel base in [something].
Tarkin: Fire, as soon as your ready.
Death Star Voice: Light the main [something].
Vader: Now I have you. [Han arrives] What was that!?
Stormtrooper: Be careful!
[The stormtrooper dies and Vader spins off into space]
Han: Everything’s okay, boy. Let’s high [something] that thing and fly!
Death Star Voice: Everything is ready. Everything is ready.
[The Death Star explodes]
Han: Great shot, boy! A one in a million hit!
Ben’s voice: Don’t forget. The force will be with you. Always.
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Cheers,
John